Words of Wisdom from a Woman Who’s Been There
Showing Up For Yourself – Some Very Wise Words
[Mercury Retrograde – some other wise words! I’ve tried everything to correct the line spacing in this post and nothing has worked. So please forgive the awkwardness that the weird spacing creates. I hope you will have the patience to read it anyway.]
A friend of mine Cyndee Peters:
This phenomenal woman and world renown singer, has shared some amazing words of wisdom in response to my recent blog post “Showing Up for Yourself.“ I’d like to share those words along with some of her thoughts and my responses. First, here is a poem Cyndee sent me that has much to say about showing up for yourself:
After a While
After a while you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand
and chaining a soul
and you learn that love
doesn’t mean leaning
and company doesn’t always
And you begin to learn
that kisses aren’t contracts and
presents aren’t promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with yourhead up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of a woman
not the grief of a child.
And you learn
to build all your roads on today
because tomorrow’s ground is
too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way
of falling down in midflight.
And after a while you learn
that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting
for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn
that you really can endure
that you really are strong
and you reallydo have worth
and you learn
and you learn
with every goodbye you learn.
I cannot think of more beautiful words to express the growth we each are blessed with in this lifetime. In this Life, we grow and as we do, we learn to take care of and nurture ourselves because we must. If we’re lucky, we have others who help and support us in nurturing our beautiful Selves. But whether we do or we don’t, the one constant in our lives is our Self, so we must take care of that beautiful Self.
In my post “Showing Up for Yourself” one of my comments about diligence and vigilance inspired Cyndee to say, “It is not what you do, it is the spirit in which you do it. Intention trumps everything as far as I am concerned.” And I think she’s right. I have learned the hard way that discipline, hard work, and goal setting aren’t the answers we’re led to believe they are. They certainly haven’t gotten me what I have wanted! However, I am learning (very slowly!) that having the intention to take care of myself while moving inexorably forward toward what I want is a kinder, gentler and far more effective method.
In another comment concerning our perspective on the body we have, she wrote, “It was also made clear very early on in countless situations, by countless individuals and throughout my entire life that being overweight meant my privileges and expectations were limited by this “obvious” lack of self-control. And although…I have had many wonderful things happen to me in spite of my weight, [that idea] is always lurking. And she’s right – many of us have been indoctrinated to believe certain things about ourselves from the very people who love us…or at least claim to love us.
To give an example, my mother was busty and curvaceous. Her mother, on the other hand, had a trim, boyish figure. So as my mother grew into the classic hourglass figure she was given, my grandmother began to poison her mind with the idea that she was just a bit slutty because of her boobs. Hence my mother grew up to be vaguely mortified by her body, extremely self-conscious, always worried that people would perceive her to be something she wasn’t. She never understood how beautiful she was and she never really settled into the deeper truth of who she was as a person because she was always thinking she should be something she wasn’t.
It is a terrible thing not to love yourself, not to accept and recognize the absolute beauty of who you are. And I believe with all my heart and soul that you, I, and everyone else in the world without exception is beautiful. However, until each of us recognizes the inner light and the unique beauty of the deepest essence of who we are, that beauty cannot be fully expressed.
And when I said “everyone without exception is beautiful,” I meant it. Yes, even the most heinous person alive is beautiful somewhere deep inside. What they express outwardly is a reflection of the depth of the lies and the untruths they have grown to believe because they have been poisoned.
So each one of us must recognize the small, nasty untruths we have absorbed thinking they were true and turn away from them. We must turn, instead, toward the light within us, the truth and essence of the very best of who we are. Only then will the world change. And from a very practical perspective, only then will our own reality change to include more of the good stuff we crave. In the most pragmatic of ways, knowing yourself better – recognizing what you’re really good at, understanding the strengths of your personality, then learning to express that in how you dress, how you interview, how you reinvent yourself into the next phase of your life – will serve you far better than trying to be what you think you ought to be, or who you think you are based on old, outdated information.
To end this long, reflective post, I’d like to share with you Cyndee Peters inspiring crowds with her magnificent, Light-filled Self. These two clips were from concerts in Sweden where Cyndee lived for 40 years. She’s now back in the US, so if you ever have an opportunity to see her live, do!